The loudest silence

Its been months since I last had the courage to sit myself down and face the changes, face the reality and ultimately come to terms with the fact that I have entered the next chapter of my adult life.
There are certain milestones we all need to reach in order to move from one space of our life’s into the next. The crux is we are never quite ready for these changes; these changes are colossal, these changes come with sets of difficulties, but ultimately they lead us into the life we aspire to live. The milestones I have conquered in the last few months were once just dreams; simple wishes thrown into the universe, prayers made to the Lord and quite frankly, a shit load of hard work that turned into something.
You know, I sit in my very own apartment right now; I am surrounded by things I have accumulated by the money I have earned from my very first job. I sit here alone. Utterly surrounded by the silence that has become my only companion. And it’s so typical of my disposition to think form this perspective: instead of being so enthralled with the life I have dreamed about and now posses, I rather get encompassed by the sadness. I let the hurt, the past and the that-which-I-do-not-yet-have move in, pack out and set up permanent home. The silence is so deafening that I can hear my heart in my throat.
For a long time silence has scared me. I would try and fill it with any sound possible. The thing is, this silence can be heard even through the loudest of noise. Once you have become drained by the silence, and then finally build up enough courage to endure it, soon enough you start welcoming it. And it is at this point that I promise you the secret is revealed: once you welcome the silence, you become one with it.
It is only when you get quiet with life that you can hear what it is trying to tell you.
It tells me that life is simple and we make it hard. It tells me that if you want to say something, speak up before its too late.
It says to tell that person how they make you feel – whether that be good or bad.
It tells you to keep on being quiet and just, listen.
We try so hard to make sense of things and compartmentalise it all that we build up such strong resistance against the natural flow of things. Everything is as it should be. Nothing is out of place. The lesson from all of this can be sumed up in one single, powerful word: ALLOW.
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